No one wants to see your goo baby

Ah, the miracle of childbirth. New mommies and daddies are so excited to show off their newly born offspring to family and friends that they simply refuse to wait until the baby is cleaned up before posting pictures on facebook. I can pretty much guarantee that your college roommate or the girl you sat next to in Biology in 10th grade does not want to see your goo baby. Is this really what you want the first impression of your child to be? Probably not. I'd save those pictures for grandma. Eh, she probably doesn't want to see your goo baby either.

Did you take a shower in that stuff?

I should not be able to smell you from 5 feet away. Also, I should not enter a bathroom, break room or stairwell and know that you were just there because the smell of your perfume is still lingering. If that is the case, you are wearing too much.

There are a two stinky perfume offenders in my office. One said offender also smokes...so then it just smells like really strong old lady perfume and smoke. Yummy! How many sprays are these women putting on their body? And, do they re-spritz throughout the day? Not necessary. Can you not smell yourself? Of course you can't. You have burned your scent glands with that crap. Ladies - if you are wearing perfume, 1-2 sprays is enough. No need to bathe in it.

Did I just eat glue?

I keep hearing about how Greek yogurt is soooo good for you and is full of protein...yada, yada. So when I saw a coupon in the Sunday paper for a free Yoplait Greek yogurt from Publix I figured it was my chance to try it (because I wouldn't want to risk wasting the $1.14 or whatever). In an effort to be extra healthy, I ended up getting the plain yogurt...I guess because it had fewer calories than the flavored ones. I brought it to work on Monday with some strawberries to eat as my 3 o' clock snack. When I took off the lid I was a bit aprehensive...this doesn't look like yogurt. I put a little bit on my spoon and took a bite...and I just about spit it out. YUCK! It was the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. In the trash it went. Am I doing it wrong? Was I supposed to put it in a smoothie or something? I can't see how anyone can stomach that nastiness.

At least I didn't pay for it.

Ew, is that what I look like?

With the threat of bathing suit season looming around the corner...I had the brilliant idea to try on a bathing suit last Sunday. Yeah, bad idea. I guess it's time to put away the Thin Mints.